REFLECTIONS
LOST
journaling
Lost, it partially describes my life right now. I’m in the stage where I’m lost. I don’t know what to worry about first. I don’t know how this year is going to be. I don’t know if I’ll be accepted into my dream university. I don’t know what life will bring me. I just don’t know many answers to different questions. Sometimes I would just simply lay on my bed and think of nothing because I don’t know what to think about even though I knew something kept giving me butterflies in my stomach. I tried telling myself that I’ll overcome this stage of loss. I just don’t know when. As a teenager, it’s now in the stage of loss. I believe it’s normal to have ambivalent feelings about your decision. The pressure around you would always be there and the solution to that is to get out of it.
VENTING EMOTIONS
the future
As I wrote in my journal, my parents have always tried to convince me to go to Chulalongkorn University by stating their reasons for it being the nearest university, and that it’s their dream university so they pleased me to do it for them. The pressure and dedication of them to place me into Thailand’s top university really made me follow this path. It’s probably a really important event in my life that I can make my parents proud of. The graduate college I intend to pursue is Chulalongkorn University as it’s one of the most competitive and prestigious universities in Thailand. Many students dream of getting in and I’m also included. As I have mentioned that five of my interested faculties I would like to apply to include business administration, economics, global studies and politics, psychology, and bachelor of art and science in integrated innovation. I’m favoring a bachelor of art and science in integrated innovation and politics. Both of the fields are what I would love to study. Math is one of my favorite subjects; however, if I chose to study in the political fields, it wouldn't relate to math. Talking about the political fields, I have always seen my dad talking about politics and being a part of different politics-related events. It strongly influenced me to be intrigued. The information I mentioned above is what my initial goal was. However, if I decided to go by the opposite path which is not absorbing any influence from my parents, I think I’ll be going to Mahidol or Thammasat. I believe my high school life would be a lot different from how it is now. I probably won’t be taking many AP courses and I won’t be as stressed about the SAT as I am now. Without the push from my parents and the motivation, I would put myself on an easier path since I probably don’t believe I can get into Chulalongkorn. Including the pressure from the society and people around me, if I didn’t decide to try to pursue Chulalongkorn university, people around me would view me in a different way. As I’m from an Asian family, going to a university that they didn’t expect us to go to is kind of intimidating and they’ll be judging us. It’s truly a concern even though it may seem not to be. The opposite of my objective faculty is the fields that are much more competitive such as the pharmaceutical and engineering field. That’s actually the field where smart people and genius are going, which I’m not. I believe the path I’m currently taking is just right for me since it’s not too chillax or too strict. Whatever happens, I would have to be physically and mentally flexible on my future and try my best.
VENTING EMOTIONS
the future
Several ideas popped into my head. I'm bursting at the seams with Halloween costume ideas! Halloween vibes are triggered by seeing carved pumpkins, zombies, spiders, or even squid games. The 31st of October is approaching, and it's our chance to dress up whatever we like. Many pupils, I imagine, would just attend school dressed up for Halloween and then return home the next day. Maybe that's what I'll do as well. I'm undecided about whether or not I should return to school and learn on the job. The more I consider it, the more aggravating it becomes. However, waking up 1 hour earlier than you used to doesn’t really excite me at all.
MY DIARY
journaling
Consider a haunted hall, with its deafening quiet and unsettling atmosphere. That's the exact predicament I'm going through right now. Students' attendance in school was impacted by the COVID scenario, immunization appointments, and virtual learning. I peered into the school in the morning while driving and assumed it was closed. There wasn't a single human insight. I walked straight to Mr. Mark's health science class, which was my first class. As I struggled with some peach yogurt, I could hear my stomach stomping furiously. I've never been afraid or conscious of eating in class before, but this time is different. I had to look left and right to see if somebody was trying to keep me from eating my breakfast, but there wasn't. Unfortunately, just two students showed up for my first class. Furthermore, I was the lone student in my second class, which was with ms.d for creative writing. This is the class for which I'm writing this narrative. There aren't many students who go to school on-site right now. Many teachers are hoping for an increase in student attendance next week. Based on my perspective and experiences, I preferred on-site learning to online learning since I was able to socialize with teachers and classmates. Virtual learning entails spending the entire day in front of a computer, but on-site learning is more pleasurable. Another reason I chose to attend school is that the classes are more open-ended and hands-on. I learn better when I’m at school than which I’m at home. Many confounding factors can alter my learning ability; however, learning at school is my traditional way of learning which I really enjoy.